one person dead? then it’s not an outbreak just yet – ask the United States or the internet

Google ‘Ebola outbreak in the US’ and you will see that the internet does not acknowledge that there has been any such event/happenstance/incident – even though just last week someone was diagnosed with the disease in Texas.

The stories covering THAT occurrence, meanwhile, ALL talk about an ‘Ebola outbreak in West Africa’ – which we recognise and fully expect to be a sensible statement, for obvious reasons (don’t ask me which reasons those are; just pay more attention in future, please?).

“Outbreaks” only happen in Africa or, so far, West Africa:

Following that logic, the outbreak of a highly contagious and fatal disease can not be said to have happened if only one person is reported to have acquired it within a country or hemisphere.

Therefore, the Ugandan medical worker who is said to have died of complications related to the Marburg virus, may his soul Rest in Eternal Peace, is so far one case of said virus manifesting itself but does not yet constitute an “outbreak” as some media outlets have reported.

On your own, look out for the definition of ‘Outbreak’.

The travel advisories against countries with Ebola, meanwhile, do NOT include the United States, or Texas, or Dallas (not a country, but you catch the drift)…YET.

In the meantime, everyone, clean up your acts and do the following immediately:

1. STOP shaking hands, hugging, kissing unnecessary people and so on and so forth.

2. Buy as much hand sanitiser, soap and other detergents as possible.

3. Invest in businesses manufacturing, supplying and trading in hand sanitisers, soaps, and other detergents.

4. MAKE your staff – domestic and corporate alike – adhere to all the above and even more stringent measures.

5. Treat all feverish, excitable, sweaty people with suspicion. Be even more suspicious if they are dancing to or humming the most recent West African songs.

6. Issue travel advisories as you see fit. And, yes, include Dallas, Texas because the media reports that the Ebola patient there, one Thomas Eric Duncan, came into contact with a number of people (up to 50) who haven’t shown signs of having contracted the disease, but many others who are yet to be traced. (read

7. Name anybody else found or suspected to have contracted the disease. Of course, the Americans et al are the only people whose names we have actually come across, unlike the thousands of unnamed West Africans who’ve died and been buried or cremated so far, but let’s not pretend to be surprised by that. Going forward, let’s keep a tally so that we can tell who has come into contact with who when a feverish sweat breaks out.

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