I started writing this in a state of apolepsy but then did a quick google search to confirm my feelings only to discover that maybe I meant epilepsy? But I was sure that what I was going through was akin to an apoleptic fit, so I checked again what the symptoms would be and google planted more doubts by asking, “…did you mean epileptic fit?”

Actually, I meant apoleptic fit, but now that the almighty google was asking, I wasn’t so sure.

But then neither was google, apparently, because I still got results with apoleptic fits in them – but of people who had it mostly in 1879 (Alex Steele of Athens, Ohio), some other time in the 1800s (Henry Lange of Saginaw, Michigan), 1777 (Timothy Robinson of Massachusetts) and many, many more between 1700 and 1900.

All contemporary mention of apoleptic fits is mostly conjencture (“…would have had an apoleptic fit”) and I therefore want to confirm to the world that there is NO SUCH THING AS AN APOLEPTIC FIT!!!

So stop having them.

All writers and actors should take note.