Engrossed in a bout of insomnia, I heard Jon Stewart make mention of How I Met Your Mother and how long we’ve been following this never-ending tale when I realised that I am one of those who has been wondering exactly how he met their mother.
Those who haven’t watched this sitcom have probably not suffered the type of insomnia that has been brought on by widespread internet access and its attendant evils – torrent downloads being a major one of them.
(Seriously, if you are lost by now then you shouldn’t be reading further.)
Back to this guy killing his kids by way of a bedside story, does anyone know yet exactly how he met their mother? I stopped somewhere at Series Five or Fifteen and just drifted into something else like The Wire or Entourage.
You see, by the time we began on this quest for how he met his mother, these TV Series’ were a little bit hard to come by. Back then, I used to buy box sets whenever I travelled – but mostly at the Dubai airport shops.
That kept me disciplined enough in my viewing to finish Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Frasier, The Shield, and even CSI…eh – that’s when it started unravelling. First of all, CSI started splitting up like Amoeba and I am waiting for CSI: Wandeg’s to kick off; secondly, people started supplying movies on unmarked DVDs at prices we then thought were ridiculous, but because we didn’t ever imagine the day would come when we’d be able to buy entire seasons of sizzling hot (released this afternoon) sitcoms at the cost of half a packet of cigarettes.
I cannot imagine being the owner of a video library today, even though I have been that broke before in life.
And then there comes a gripping sitcom like this How I Met Your Mother to begin ruining the experience of sitcoms. Friends ran on and on and on and on and today we still watch re-runs because of what it did for us back then. It was called Friends and was about Friends the whole damn time.
How I Met Your Mother is some sort of unrequested domestic accountability in somebody else’s home, and even though it was insanely entertaining, it is also irritating because we need to get to the bottom of this damn concept.
Exactly how did you meet my mother? Or their mother?
And where is she?
Because I think their (whoever they are – I’ve never been able to work out these details that should be important) mother is a bit irresponsible, leaving them to this cruel fate.
This cruel fate being, in my opinion, Ted Moresby’s evil plan of keeping his kids out of teen trouble by locking them down to the sofa with a long-winded tale about how he met their mother. Many people must have taken time off after the Season One break to ask their fathers to tell them the story, in the hope that it would fill the time until Season Two broke but we all know how that probably went: a) (Slap) “Stupid. We don’t discuss such things! Msssschewwww!” b) (Slap) “Eh? Are you mad?” c) (Slap) “Eh? Are you drunk?” d) (Slap) (Slap) (Slap) (Kick) and so on and so forth.
But the above options are much, much better than what Ted Moresby’s kids are going through on that sofa (aka couch).
It’s been so long that I can’t remember properly, but I don’t think Ted Moresby’s kids asked him the question. He just showed up one day, sat them down, and then began telling them. The guy did it with such ease and casualness that their mother must have known this side of him – which makes me conclude that she is irresponsible because how can she go so long without even checking on them?
Maybe, I realise, she herself has only just been released from a ten-year long spell of a story about how he left home after his university degree, and she has fled to catch up on a life gone by – try out this new music-listening device called a disc man, buy an apple to see if the taste has changed and work out why are so many people talking about the share price of a fruit, and so on and so forth.
But exactly how, I ask again, did he meet her?
The great escapades of the impossibly cool crew of Barney, Robin, Marshall and Lily have kept us laughing and envious in large measures for all these years but, dammit, who has watched the last episode of this unlikely saga?