Mwe Ugandan bloggers!
Please let’s get serious about this blogging that some of us claim as a job title, occupation or symbol of our social and intellectual status.
Let’s actually blog, not in the original sense of the word where we just log our every activity on the web (surely, you must know this – ‘web-log’ turning into ‘blog’ probably via ‘we-blog’), but by blogging – coming up with interesting notes and comments published on personal pages on the web and attracting much commentary.
These thoughts came to me last Thursday while I was being held hostage by the blog of a fellow Ugandan.
It found me minding my own business, traipsing through my digital forest with it’s lush tropical trees of client reports, overdue presentations and requests for proposals, occasionally kicking listlessly at the little flowering mobile phone apps by the side of the path.
For hours that day, I had managed to resist distractions from the wildlife – the ugly trolls under timelines and the cute, friendly fauna that social media presents in numbers so large that one wonders why we’re not all engaged in the tourism business.
But then I spotted that blogpost and couldn’t resist it’s allure. It held me rapt in the corner of the blogclub, looking so deep into its eyes I couldn’t hear the soundtrack the office DeeJay was playing until it was too late and the blogpost’s doors slammed shut behind me. Without ceremony, the blogger passed me on to one of her mates who kicked me on to the next…
…an hour later, I was being kicked to another blog, my mind bruised and battered by the kicks of wit and my skin stinging from the acidic drops of satire…
I was eventually released, sides aching from bouts of NN (Nsesse Nnyo), after the intervention of a rather impatient client who reminded everyone that he was paying the bills for my time. <—See? We are allowed to do this while blogging; with no regard for the reader or our english grammar teachers or even our parents, if we choose not to care.
Which is why I am asking, nay, BEGGING! Mbasaba n’obuwoombeefu. Tafadhaali.
Write. Blog. Post. MORE!
Blog, banange! Write more blogs, Ugandans! Post stuff the way you want to post it fwaaaa or even fwaaaaa-ga!
You guys are interesting. Some of you are hilarious. Some of you are funny. Some of you are just there. A few of you are downright boring, but worth reading all the same, so that the trolls can bare their ugliness, because what else is a troll to do but troll?
But please: Write. Blog. Post. MORE!
Look at the Kenyans for inspiration, if you must. Of course they are more than we are in number, and because of that they seem wittier, but I swear there are nights I get mesmerised by my Twitter TimeLine because of ordinary Ugandans saying ordinary things in such an extraordinarily funny way that I wonder where you guys were when those comedy shows began.
From today I will be reading as many blogs as possible written by Ugandans.
My Thursday is now called #UGblogDAY.
Send me all the blogs you’ve written and I’ll read them and comment under them and tweet the links to them.
If you’re shy, use a pseudonym (NOT Simon Kaheru). But write.
We’ve tried this before, in many different ways, but for some reason the energy keeps fizzling out.
But we can’t keep bursting out in occasional good ideas then going back into literambulance. That ka-word there is supposed to be a combination of literacy and somnambulance but it has come out looking like literature inside an ambulance – which is where we honestly are on the road of global online intellectual expression.
Inside some ambulance that is caught in the traffic of Kenyan bloggers, Nigerian musicians, American commentators on YouTube videos and trolls of indeterminate origin. We are as-if on life support.
We occasionally blaze our hazard lights and sound a siren to try and create space but they see us coming and ignore us with that, “Ah! You jump over!” signal.
We’ve got to take control. Grab the internet by the blog. Unsheath your words deep into the belly of the blogosphere and kill it!
Like that, like that. (I told you, blogs come with ZERO rules except – BLOG!)
There is no kawunyemu here.
Don’t force yourself to write in english only – especially if you aren’t proficient in the use of the language or familiar with Partridge’s ‘Usage and Abusage’.
Don’t feel constrained to write about politics and what not – there is enough of that to go around already.
You don’t need to write about sex, drugs and alcohol – even though those three provide the fuel for the best of our (polite) most entertaining activities.
Kwegamba, lose yourself in kaboozi of a written nature on the internet.
And, most of all, make your blogpost public with the hashtag #UGblogDAY – on Twitter, on Facebook and in emails.
At the very least, write a blog post telling other Ugandans to write blog posts and to use #UGblogDAY.
Then, after that, go to as many Ugandan blogs as possible and make the comment #UGblogDAY under any or every one of their posts so that they know about it, and get others to know about their blogs.
My day is Thursday – join me or choose your own day.
But let’s get more Ugandans writing blog posts!