What ordinary people thought the argument was: Men are better than Women at housework.
What the real argument was: Men are better at approaching housework in a logical and scientific manner than women are.
The difference between the two is simply that when Men approach housework using logic and science, they do a much better job than women.
My study sample: Men and Women in the same environment.
My study aids: a) observation of my maids and the shamba boy and the tea girl and the messenger b) Memory c) general common sense.
Now, to begin with, Multitaskminitiming:
FACT: Men are capable of multitaskminitiming far better than women are. Multitaskminitiming is the ability to carry out a number of or a series of tasks within the shortest time possible.*
PROOF: This explains the casual manner in which we conduct simple tasks like driving off. We walk to the car with our keys in our hands, unlock the door in a manner designed to allow us to slide into the drivers seat while inserting the ignition key into its slot and turning it in the correct direction all the while shutting the door while pulling the seat belt into its slot and engaging gear on the dot of the engine coming alive. We then reverse (Americans say, “Back out” into a road using a method we worked out when we parked the car. Average Time: 20 seconds.
Your average woman, on the other hand, approaches the car with her handbag over her shoulder zipped up tight, and arrives at the car door with both feet firmly on the ground in order to stop and swivel her bag over from behind her to a position somewhere under her armpit. There, she will proceed to unzip the bag and begin rummaging through it to find the car keys.
Some women, we must acknowledge, will walk up to the car with their car keys in hand, and will therefore unlock the car door on arrival. Thereafter, she will insert herself into the driver’s seat with her feet still on the ground of the parking lot while she exchanges her ‘walking’ shoes for her ‘driving’ shoes (normally a pair of bathroom slippers).
The dressing-up process complete, she will swing herself into the vehicle with her feet on the floor, not touching the pedals, and then place her handbag on the floor of the co-driver’s side, or insert it into the space near the gear box. Only after her handbag and anything else she walked to the car with is in its place, will she reach out and shut her door.
Once the door is shut, she will then insert the ignition key into its slot (a process that sometimes involves having to open the door again in order to retrieve the key from the door lock, but thankfully does not require a change of footwear). Once the door is shut, most men will claim that the average woman will immediately turn down the overhead sun visor in order to adjust her make-up.
This does not happen.
The average woman will actually start the car using the ignition key, look down at the pedals in order to place her feet appropriately, and only then will she flip down the overhead sun visor in order to adjust her make-up. That done, she will look around and behind her a number of times in order to work out how to get out of the parking slot. Average Time: Five minutes.
*Whereas it is true that the average woman above conducted more tasks than the average man above over a longer period of time, the highlight factor in this case study is the relevance of the tasks carried out and the efficiency with which they were so conducted.
Thank you, for the generous applause, but I request that you save it for the final lesson.
Class Assignment: Men, ask a female friend to buy three items from the fridge in your local petrol station shop and time her. Women, do likewise to a male friend.