THE recent census of Uganda (2024) told us that about 73% of Ugandans are aged below 30.

That means about 34million Ugandans out there might never have watched ‘Yes, Minister or ‘Yes, Prime Minister’, from the 1980s.

In that epic comedy, Minister Jim Hacker often received guidance from his Permanent Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby, about how to say nothing in an important manner designed to keep them all politically safe.

Reading the story titled, ‘KCCA wants heavy vehicles out of city during day’ this week excited many of us because we have not watched ‘Yes, Minister’ or ‘Yes, Prime Minister’. 

On social media channels the announcement was even, ‘KCCA Thinks Of Reducing Heavy Trucks’ 

I remembered Sir Humphrey because I could hear his voice going:

“The idea has occurred of how beneficial it would be if we thought about the possibility of considering the viability of formulating elements of a plan that, if implemented, could lead to decongestion by removing all heavy trucks from Kampala City during the day time.”

With that paragraph of nothingness, Sir Humphrey would get a headline going.

I can’t blame him. Old school politicians and technocrats seemed to be conditioned to pull the wool over our eyes. 

The journalists, however, were always on hand to cut through it to allow us to see clearly.

Today? 

They feed us ‘news’ reports about ideas fwaaa and go with them for years and years like extremely unclever people.

The reports of heavy trucks leaving Kampala were just a regurgitation of statements made by the State Minister for Kampala, Kabuye Kyofatogabye, about thoughts of ideas about general good things that we would wish for in an ideal world. 

Is anything being done about it?

Unbelievably – or even worse, quite believably – when you go online you will find a story titled ‘Trucks still in city despite ban’ (https://www.monitor.co.ug/uganda/news/national/trucks-still-in-city-despite-ban-1502716).

It was published on November 2, 2011 – fourteen (14) years ago.

Want to laugh? It was even updated ten years later on January 24, 2021 – four (4) years ago. The online news story was updated but the problem and the idea all remained the same… as did the political statements around them.

“Trucks and buses have maintained their presence on city streets despite a notice from Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) outlawing their operations during (the) day,” the 2011 story begins.

The ‘ban’ had been announced a month before, supposed to take effect on November 1, 2011.

Mbu.

“Regulation 14 of the Traffic and Road Safety (Parking of Motor Vehicles) bars motorists from loading and off-loading merchandise on streets during day,” it reads further on.

“KCCA Director for Physical Planning George Agaba…said the Authority was yet to enforce the law.”

And then, for heavier comedic effect he explained:

“We are soon taking action but I cannot give you details because you may (sic) alert the culprits…”

We simply refuse to Be Serious, many of us.

That article, from 2011, cited the Kampala Urban Improvement Plan as “a document which the government is using to effect changes in the city”.

And here, now, in 2025 we are confidently being told ‘KCCA wants heavy vehicles out of city during day’.

There is no reason to report any news about KCCA thinking about anything. There is even no reason for anyone at KCCA to announce their thoughts about ideas.

Just implement the plans that are already in place and Be Serious about it. 

And journalists should stop reporting things without questioning them, because you end up looking as silly as the public officials you should be holding to account.

Of course the documents on the KCCA website are not of any use in doing this. Some of them go back to before the majority of Ugandans could eat solid food.

Even in the report about the Kampala State Minister’s comments, we read things that should have made people in the room raise their hands to ask questions.

The minister “…said the city is on a time bomb as a result of increasing heavy goods trucks, including fuel tankers that are on every street, and yet the city has a huge population during daytime.”

Make that make sense, in 2025, as we continue opening more and more fuel stations right across the city. Who gives them commercial and trading licenses? KCCA.

Another promise in that report from the event discussing the decongestion of Kampala: “Winstone Katushabe, the commissioner for transport regulations and safety in the Ministry of Works and Transport…(said) that Kampala would soon implement the light rail network for passengers to minimise the 14-seater commuter taxis that congest the roads.”

When? “Soon”. 

How soon? 

Just a few days ago, we saw another news story reporting: “A delegation of Egyptian railway experts have expressed willingness to reduce Kampala’s traffic congestion by constructing a light rail network.”

Can you believe that? Perfect timing, eh?

After fourteen years of thinking and talking about plans, KCCA has a solution coming ‘soon’.

All the officials attending the meeting said all the right things as they have done for years now.

The news report amusingly informs us: “This will not be the first time the Government is mooting the idea of a light rail. It was proposed in the early 2000s…”

Let’s even go back to the 1980s and say, all together: “Yes, Minister!”