Daily Press Digest


Sunday, November 8, 2009

‘CHOGM beautification works cost taxpayers sh5.5b’ – Page 1, Sunday Vision:

No, the headline is neither amazing nor surprising, but the following paragraph was:

“The contract for the beautification of the beautification of the 11km Kibuye-Kitende section worth sh1.2b was awarded to Nicontra. The work required removal of sign posts and unsightly structures, bush clearing… A physical audit was carried out…established that the cost of sh1.2b was “excessive” (Lugezi-gezi guy: you think?!)

The (audit) team noted that many of the poor signs and billboards which were supposed to be demolished or removed were still there. The consultant reported they had been put back after CHOGM…”

LOL!

**

‘Besigye is not redundant’ – Page 2, Sunday Monitor:

Er, to begin with, the headline above is not mentioned anywhere in the story…meaning it’s business as usual at The Monitor today.

But on to the gist of things: the story is supposedly reporting the Forum for Democratic Change (FDC) responding to the National Resistance Movement (NRM) referring to FDC President, Dr. Kizza Besigye, as “redundant”.

Quoth the story-writer:

“Dr. Mmamazi, secretary general of the ruling NRM, told party faithful…Dr. Besigye is going around the countryside because he has nothing productive, not least a public responsibility, to occupy him.

‘Don’t compare me to Besigye who has no public responsibilities. That’s why he can rear pigs,” Mr. Mbabazi told Kampala central division NRM officials…”

So rearing pigs, according to Mr. Mbabazi, is “nothing productive”? This explains why some government officials buy so many boda-bodas for ill-educated, ignorant, unemployed chaps and think they are helping the economy.

But that aside, according to the story, Mr. Mbabazi found it necessary to make those comments because … well, read it yourself:

“Some of the party executives had indicated that Dr. Besigye, who has just concluded a tour of the populous Buganda region, was doing better at recruiting new followers, including drawing NRM supporters into his fold.

In response, Mr. Mbabazi said that he, unlike Dr. Besigye…is busy with state duties. ‘Scientists say never compare unlike things,’ he said.”

{…..} (speechless).

Eh, but wait! I need to go and slap my office messenger – the fool told me this morning that he can no longer report to office by 0730hrs because he has to first sell rolex at his roadside stand every morning…

 

Monday, November 9, 2009

‘Lack of recording equipment affecting court scribes’ – Page 4, Daily Monitor:

Believe it or not, the Judiciary, in its great wisdom, has finally realized this at the highest level possible. According to this newspaper, the Deputy Chief Justice, Leticia Mukasa-Kikonyogo, said at a four-day training workshop:

“Currently there are no microphones to help enhance the voices of the presiding judicial officers and other court users, therefore chances of misreporting are heightened, but understandably so,” Ms. Kikonyogo said.’”

I write this hoping she used a microphone, but this is the limit in bending over backwards to accommodate mediocrity.

What were journalists using way back in the days when there were no electronics?

What kind of damn compromise is this?

Why aren’t journalists being told to sit on the front row…?

**

‘EU ambassador wants tough business rules’ – Page 39, Daily Monitor:

Without going into how the headline above would have balanced better and made much more sense without the word ‘tough’, I want to direct the said Ambassador to Uganda, Vincent De Visscher, to any corner of Kampala en route from wherever his house is to the centre of the city.

Then, he will not find himself being quoted saying things like:

“’It is not surprising that you find a food vendor operating in unhygienic conditions but with trading licenses hanging on the walls…’”

IT WOULD BE SURPRISING, man!!! Consider all the Rolex stands dotted around town…

**

 

One thought on “Daily Press Digest

  1. Did you get lazy or what?
    Don’t ever give up creative writing.
    By the way do you have space in your 2011 diary.
    I have a project i would like to discus with you.
    We could roll it out together come January 2011 .

    Like

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